God is Good!

So as most of you read, I've been having a pretty hard time lately. I believe I have some post-partum depression and dealing with a colicky baby is overwhelming beyond words. However, something amazing happened this weekend. I went to church on Sunday and you would have thought the sermon was written for me. I have attached the notetaking guide and audio version of the sermon in case you are interested but this is why it touched me so deep.
It talked about Failure! Ha...my biggest fear, failing as a mother, failing as a wife, failing in general. The pastor talked about how FAILING is a part of life but FAILURE isn't. It's true, at some point we are all going to fail at something, but it is how we respond to it that makes us stronger. He pointed out that in the middle of life/crisis Jesus is there. For some reason, I think I have forgotten the role God plays in my life and starting thinking I had to do this on my own. My how wrong I've been. He made a point that in times of trial and hardship is when we really learn how to trust God. This couldn't be more true. That night I sat crying in Mia's room, the only thing I knew to do was pray. I called on God to ease my pain and the tears of my daughter. It wasn't an immediate fix, but through this time God is teaching me patience and grace. What an amazing lesson to learn.
The other thing that really stuck out to me in this sermon was the question presented at the end.

What is so important that you are willing to try even in the face of the possibility of failing?

After this question was asked I just sat there staring at Mia and crying. She is so important that I will risk the possibility everyday of failing in order to love her more and be the best mother, role model and inspiration in her life.

So I have a new outlook on life, and how I will choose to look at things. This doesn't mean that things are easier, it just means that I will remember that in the middle of it all is a God who loves me unconditionally and will take the opportunity to learn from everything that is being presented to me.

Note taking guide
Audio Sermon - it is from June 21 & 22

9 weeks old!

Well, my little girl is 9 weeks old. She is getting so big. It is amazing to watch her grow. She truly changes everyday.
Here are her newest pictures.

9 weeks with her bear

A closeup of her little chunky self
This is the new bed, it's called the Amby Bed. We bought this since she refuses to sleep in her crib. It is also good for reflux and colic babies. She has only been using it 2 nights but seems to like it. This is her napping today!
And here she is napping with her burp cloth. She LOVES that thing!

2 Months Old!

Mia is officially 2 months old today!
Here she is enjoying some time in her swing.

And here is Daddy and Mia playing
And here is mommy - 2 months Post Partum

The Struggles of Parenthood...

I debated on whether or not to post this, but I decided I would...
Amelia is 8 weeks old now and while I love being a mom more than anything in the world, there are days when I think I just can't do it. After trying for 2.5 years to get pregnant, I thought that was going to be the hardest thing to endure. However, my pregnancy wasn't any easier. I vomited for 9 months, had painful Braxton Hicks, was tired all the time, planned a natural, drug-free birth and ended up with an emergency C-section. I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby though and that is all that really mattered. So I figured something easy has to follow. Then Mia became Colicky. There is nothing like a non-stop screaming baby that tugs at your heart as a mom. On top of this I planned to exclusively breastfeed but my supply couldn't keep up. And while I am still nursing I have to supplement with formula every feeding. This has led to Mia having horrible stomach problems. We have gone through 3 formulas and she is now on a hypo-allergenic formula that we are hoping works.
There are days when I just can't get her to stop crying and I cry right along with her. There are days that I feel like a failure as a mother, because I can't get her to stop crying and I know her belly hurts so bad. There are days when I wish I could just breastfeed so we wouldn't have these problems anymore. There are days when I actually wonder if I was really meant to be a mom and then there are days when I just stop and sit back for a moment, clear my head and think.
These are the days that I remember the blessing that occurred after 2.5 years of trying, the day we got that positive pregnany test.
These are the days I remember my C-section and thank God that they realized her heartrate was dropping and she was delivered healthy.
These are the days I am thankful that my husband is so supportive, always telling me I am an awesome mom and laying on Mia's floor in the middle of the night while I feed her.
These are the days that I realize God is teaching me lessons in Grace, Patience, and Love.

I know days are going to be hard, but on those days I just try to remember that God blessed me to be a mother because He believed I could do it...and on those days I remember the little gummy smile she gives me or the coo that seriously melts my heart. Because of Mia I have learned what it means to love so much it hurts. It truly hurts me to my core when she cries and I can't calm her. Because of Mia I have found a love for my husband that I never knew was possible. A love that surpasses everything, a bond so deep I don't think I could survive without him.

I am not sure why I felt the need to share all this...maybe to clear my head, or maybe because I think sometimes people sugarcoat parenthood. I am sure there are people out there that have great babies, that never cry and are happy all the time. But I also think there are people who being a first time parent is hard.
All that said this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, however, it is the most amazing, rewarding thing I have done. There is nothing like seeing a child that was created out of love smile at you, when you look at her and see Josh and I in her...Mia melts my heart!

8 weeks old!

Well, Miss Mia is now 8 weeks old. She will be 2 months on Sunday...it is hard to believe. The time seems to move so fast and yet so slow at the same time. I wanted to update with some new pictures.
This one is actually a few weeks old, but we actually captured her smile...isn't it adorable

Here is Daddy and Mia on Father's Day.

And here she is 8 weeks old!

8 weeks old...look how big she is.

Bathing Beauty

Here is the little one during bathtime! This is part of our nightly routine and she is starting to love them! I had to take picctures.

Chillin' with her hand behind her head!
Getting dried off
Mommy gave her a mowhawk! haha!

7 weeks

Here she is 7 weeks old. She is literally growing before our eyes. It's amazing.

Mom, hurry, I think I'm going to fall over!

6 weeks

Sorry I've kind of been slacking. Mia is a tad bit colicky so it is hard to find time to update with a crying baby...but all is well. She is such an amazing baby! She has started making some cooing noises and has started to smile!

Mia 6 weeks old

She was not too happy getting her picture taken.
When all else fails, put the crabby baby on the dryer...she was out in 5 seconds
Comiskey loves her "baby sister"
Her she is smiling at her daddy! Too precious!