Tuesday, March 26, 2013

So much on my mind...

It's just after midnight and I should be in bed, instead my mind is racing so I figured I would blog.
It's been awhile and needless to say it's because life is crazy.  I posted on Facebook today that there are days that I wish Life had an instruction manual  (yes, I know the Bible is a great resource) but I'm talking about the kind of manual that tells you how many kids to have, what kind of car to buy and what job you should do long term.

There are lots of decisions in my upcoming future, some big, some small.  But my mind is racing.  As I process through the thoughts that are spinning around in my head, I hear the questions...Will you still be a good mom? Can you still have time to be a wife? What about grad school? What about...? What about....?

I realized recently that I often live my life in the what ifs, instead of in the now.  My sister is leaving for California on Thursday, they are picking up and moving half way across the country, with no jobs, their house not sold and 4 kids.  While it seems scary, I sometimes wish I could have enough faith to just take a leap of faith.  It may be hard, but it may be an exhilarating ride, but you'll never know unless you leave your current comforts sometimes.

So yes, this is evasive and filled with ambiguity  but i'm not quite ready to share all the thoughts that are running wild.

In other news, we are FINALLY mostly healthy.  Besides a few runny noses here and there.  2 weeks ago I got Influenza A. I literally thought I was dying. I didn't leave my bed or see my kids for 4 days.  Thankfully I am beyond blessed with a husband who always steps up to the plate, without ever complaining and awesome moms that were there to assist.

Mia is less than a month from turning 5 and I can't believe it. We had Kindergarten round up and she's so excited, mommy on the other hand might be a nervous wreck.  She's growing too fast.   She is our little artist.   There is always a show being performed, a song being sung or a picture being drawn.  She loves mail and sending things to people on a very regular basis.  She is emotional and easily embarrassed.  She is full of questions and is often too smart for mommy and daddy's liking.

Roman is...well he's Roman.  He our all boy. Throwing balls, kicking things, jumping off tables, playing baseball.  However, he is still a mama's boy and loves to snuggle his mommy.  Today while reading books he kissed me on the cheek while I was talking to Mia and then laid his head on my chest and in the sweetest 2 year old voice said, "I just needed to kiss and hug you, 'cuz I luh you sooo much." Melt my heart.  I hope he always adores me as much as he does right now.

Well, I've decompressed a little and now I shoudl scoot off to bed, the morning is going to come soon and I have work and school tomorrow! Oh the life! :)