So why the disappointment?
Well, as a a mom, I tend to have lots of "mom" friends. And it just so happens lots of those friends are stay at home moms. And while I value that job tremendously I also know that that is not a job that I would do well. And so as I have started to share my news, I have been met with blank stares and "oh...." responses and just general unenthusiastic responses. This has made me sad on a number of levels, one because I know I will never make the announcement that will make them jump for joy, "I'm quitting my job and staying home", and two because I realize how at 31 years old I still yearn for the approval of my peers. I wish it wasn't like that. I wish I could stand confident in my decision and to my husband and peers at work I do, but in the midst of moms who respond like they do, I feel defeat and guilt that I am making a wrong choice.
I don't know what the next two years will hold. I know it will be filled with night classes, homework, papers, anxiety and wonder. However, I hope at the end of the journey I will look back and feel confident in knowing that I have what is right for my family and myself in order to be the best ME I can be.