Monday, February 02, 2015

It's been a year

How did this happen? How did I go an entire year without blogging?  As I pulled up my blog to read, I realized how much I loved this blog, how many memories live in this space. It's time to revisit it and track where our family has been and where we are going.

After Roman came we thought our family was complete. We even took the trip to Cabo to celebrate being done, but I continued to feel the nagging feeling of not being done. I tried to fight it, to convince myself we were, but the feeling didn't relent. After many tears and conversations, Josh decided he would be on board.  This was 2013.

We knew this journey all too well. Month after month we tried, we took meds, we timed intercourse, we saw doctors...and the result was always the same nothing. Each month the idea of us adding to our family seemed more and more like a fantasy.

We continued to run after God and trust His will.  In September, it happened! I saw the words I had prayed so long for...PREGNANT!!!

We couldn't believe it.  2 more years of trying and God answered. I was due on May 30th (Roman's original due date) and our first appointment was on October 16th (our 10th wedding anniversary). It was meant to be!

But then just as we began to let ourselves get excited and begin to dream, those dreams were shattered. Just 2 short weeks after being so excited and crying tears of joy, we were now crying tears of sorrow as the doctor would tell us we were experiencing a miscarriage.

WHAT?  This was a word that was not part of my journey.  Infertility was my story, not miscarriage.
But I would continue to lean on God and try to understand.
The verse I leaned on over and over again was:

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, for he cares for you.

So thankful for this truth.  And so this would begin a new piece of our story.

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