So as most of you read, I've been having a pretty hard time lately. I believe I have some post-partum depression and dealing with a colicky baby is overwhelming beyond words. However, something amazing happened this weekend. I went to church on Sunday and you would have thought the sermon was written for me. I have attached the notetaking guide and audio version of the sermon in case you are interested but this is why it touched me so deep.
It talked about Failure! Ha...my biggest fear, failing as a mother, failing as a wife, failing in general. The pastor talked about how FAILING is a part of life but FAILURE isn't. It's true, at some point we are all going to fail at something, but it is how we respond to it that makes us stronger. He pointed out that in the middle of life/crisis Jesus is there. For some reason, I think I have forgotten the role God plays in my life and starting thinking I had to do this on my own. My how wrong I've been. He made a point that in times of trial and hardship is when we really learn how to trust God. This couldn't be more true. That night I sat crying in Mia's room, the only thing I knew to do was pray. I called on God to ease my pain and the tears of my daughter. It wasn't an immediate fix, but through this time God is teaching me patience and grace. What an amazing lesson to learn.
The other thing that really stuck out to me in this sermon was the question presented at the end.
What is so important that you are willing to try even in the face of the possibility of failing?
After this question was asked I just sat there staring at Mia and crying. She is so important that I will risk the possibility everyday of failing in order to love her more and be the best mother, role model and inspiration in her life.
So I have a new outlook on life, and how I will choose to look at things. This doesn't mean that things are easier, it just means that I will remember that in the middle of it all is a God who loves me unconditionally and will take the opportunity to learn from everything that is being presented to me.
Note taking guide
Audio Sermon - it is from June 21 & 22